Wednesday, January 12

That Fleeting Good Feeling

During my December eating extravaganza, I pretty much let myself eat anything I wanted to.  I over-ate on several occasions, and I think about ninety percent of my eating was sugar.  I was mostly aware of the choices I was making, but it just felt so good!
When it comes to sugar, I have a very real and very noticeable physical reaction.  I feel good.  I feel happy.  And when that sugar leaves my body, I can feel that, too.  I noticed how quickly my old cycle of sugar high to crash to sugar seeking became habit again.  It’s so very similar to a drug addict seeking their next high.
But the high is never lasting.  It was scary how quickly my body became used to the sugar again.  I would look at a bowl of M&Ms and realize that it wouldn’t be enough to get that good feeling.  I would want the cookies instead.  I would add hot chocolate.  I was eating constantly, but eventually, it wasn’t making a difference in how I felt.
And I didn’t feel energized like I normally do.  I didn’t feel like I could go dancing or run around the block.  I felt comatose.  But gosh darn it—I “felt” good.
It’s interesting how our brains interpret these situations.  Because the sugar was sending endorphins and opioids to my brain, I interpreted it as feeling good.  But when I compared that feeling to my normal state, it wasn’t good.  I didn’t like the way that I felt.
Have you had any moments like this?  Moments when you realize that something you thought you desired wasn’t really anything you wanted?


Floriana said...

I actually have. Just in the recent weeks I have had several breakthrough moments of realizing that what I used to long for and idealize is not at all special and that I just don't want it any more. Boxed chocolates for example. It was like poof, I fell out of love with them.

skcorynaffit said...

Honestly, I feel like this with Alcohol all the time (which is maybe too obvious). It must be a throw back from college when I thought that drinking wasn't a solution but a necessary way of life. But I have, more and more, opened a beer and thought 1) these calories are totally not worth it. 2) I'd rather drink coffee and go out instead and poured it down the sink. Especially around special occasions when it feel like alcohol is always paired with other not so good things for me.

But I'm sticking with a good Caramel Machiatto does in fact solve all my problems.

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