Friday, May 4

Back on Tracking

As part of the First Place 4 Health (FP4H) program, I’m back on tracking my food.  It’s been a while since I regularly have tracked what I’m eating.
Sometimes I wasn’t tracking at all.  Those weeks I found that I was certainly able to still eat healthy (I have practically memorized calorie info for some foods because of all the tracking I’ve done in the past).  However, I noticed I was more likely to eat more than I needed and to justify that not-very-healthy foods were a better choice than they were.  For example, when you’re not tracking, it’s easy to think, “That piece of banana bread wasn’t so bad.  It had banana in it—it’s practically a serving of fruit!”  Then in reality, that piece of banana bread was a 400 calorie snack followed up by an 800 calorie lunch.

But even the weeks that I only tracked for a couple days, I found that tracking my food was a great way to maintain a realistic view of the decisions I made around food.

The gal who leads my FP4H group kept recommending MyFitnessPal.com.  I was hesitant to even try it out.  I have tried other food tracking sites, and I find most of them very frustrating.  Either their food database is small making it hard to find any foods that I eat, or it’s plastered with so many “Lose belly fat!” ads that you can barely see the site, or it doesn’t let you set any custom settings making it useless to tailor to myself.

But I am loving MyFitnessPal.com!  Not only can I custom set all the nutritional and fitness settings, but their food database is amazing.  I was able to specifically set my daily max calories, and my percentages of Protein/Carbs/Fat.  You can even set the nutritional limits (like a sodium intake limit), and then tell it to track that on your food diary page.  The display is really easy to read and browse, and there’s even a print option if you have to take your diary with you (like to a meeting).

There’s also a great community!  You can invite your friends and they can see your food and fitness diaries.  Oh!  AND there’s a phone app for it (on both iPhone and Windows Phone).

Honestly, this site is hands down the best calorie tracker I’ve ever used (it even beats the 20/20 Lifestyles tracker which was previously my favorite).  If you decide to join, message me and we’ll encourage one another!

Wednesday, May 2

First Place 4 Health

On Monday I had my first First Place 4 Health (FP4H) meeting.  The program is hosted through my church, and it really appealed to me for a couple of reasons.

FP4H has a whole-life kind of approach.  The goal is to get all the aspects of me healthy: my mind, my soul, my strength and my heart.  Think of it as mental, spiritual, physical and emotional wellness.

I had mentioned giving Overeaters Anonymous (OA) a try (which I want to go into detail later), but I was having a hard time with their program.  I kept feeling like a lot of my eating issues were just symptoms of spiritual and emotional sicknesses.  I was trying to address the root issues, but I kept feeling like the OA laser focus on eating issues was getting in the way.

So I’m trying out FP4H, and I’m excited that I get to do it with ladies that I know from my church!  There’s about 15 of us (from my church and other churches as well as online).  We were measured and weighed on Monday.  I weighed in at 216, and I was once again hit with disappointment in myself.  But at least I’m pursuing help and health!

I’ve already found myself in need of a careful attitude check.  I love to learn, but sometimes I can get stubborn and convinced myself that I already know everything.  I’ve learned a lot in the past couple years about eating healthy and exercising, but I need to empty myself and come to my meetings with a humble spirit.

Monday, April 30

Trying Again

Back on the Road

It’s been a long while since I’ve given any sort of update on my wellness.  I have to say that I finished my weight loss journey over 2 years ago now, and I had genuinely thought that it was a race I had completed.  Won that one!  Mark it down as a victory and move on.

However, I’m discovering that for many people, this is simply a road we travel all our lives.  I’ve gained back almost 50 of the 100 pounds that I lost.  I can’t help but thinking, “How did I get here again?”

As I look back, I think I can finally admit that I don’t know how to implement all the healthy living that I learned in the 20/20 Lifestyles program into my everyday life.  I was unemployed while I did the program.  I literally Biggest-Loser-ed myself!  I focused solely on learning and exercise and eating well and my emotional health for almost 9 full months.  Then I got a job right as I ended my program.

Every time I try to get my life back onto the track where my physical health is a priority, I feel like I need to take a week off from work to really make it happen.  But the reality is that I will always have a job!  I need to figure out how to make life work, while still prioritizing my wellness.

Addiction

I am absolutely convinced that I am addicted to sugar.  I have read and researched about food and addiction; tried and tested different methods of moderation.  Some people (not all, but some of us) are truly and physically addicted to sugar.

After many failed attempts at moderation, I decided that abstinence was worth a try.  I started going to Overeaters Anonymous meetings.  I think the program is amazing, and it is working for many people.  I attended the meetings and read The Big Book (which is worth a read for anyone who thinks they’re addicted to anything).  It was hard for me to choose a sponsor, though, because I was having a hard time connecting to anyone at my meetings on a spiritual level.  Your Higher Power is an integral part of the program, no arguing with it.  However, I was finding it very hard to share my faith.  Some people could barely stifle an eye roll when I talked about my relationship with God.  Some people could not even force themselves to say the word “God,” but could only use the generic “Higher Power.”  Some people had such a wide view of God that everything was God (but if everything is God, then how come food isn’t God?).  Anyway, I called it quits because it was making me feel isolated, which is never helpful for any kind of recovery.

Trying Again

I’m starting a new program at my church tonight, and I’m hoping that it addresses some of these needs.  I can tell you all about it tomorrow.  But the main point is that I’m not hiding from the truth anymore, and I’m finally aware that what I’m doing isn’t working.

My name is Becky, and I’m a Compulsive Overeater.

I'm out for answers to the big questions in my life!
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